me being over there in afghanistan and me being here, one of the worst feelings ever. she hasn't always been there for me. it's void in my life. i did get one letter from her and i was really surprised. i must have read it 10, 15 time she told me she was proud of me. my whole life i always tried to make her proud. always tried to do my best in sports, tried looking the best, dressing nice. i joined the marine corps just for her just to get her to be proud of me for once, make me think she would stay out of trouble if she was proud of her son and not go back to jail so many times, just for me once, but it seems like she always goes back to her life and she chooses her life over me and that's always been the hardest part. >> i love you, baby. i worry so much. sit down. hello. how are you? >> i'm good. how are you? >> better now that i see you. i worry about you very much. i'm sorry i'm not there. >> it's okay. >> when are you going overseas again? >> i don't know yet. >> you don't know. i see the news all the time, you know, things that are happening over there, you see